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OOM: It's Kind of a Birthday Present
Aug. 23rd, 2018 07:50 pmIt had been an extremely successful night with at the Fenrir Vodka party, and Anders had been particularly pleased with the vodka girlies in their little archery getups.
So, of course, he took one home. The blonde one. (Or were they both blondes? Did it really matter?)
"You were amazing tonight," he says as he steps closer, reaching up to touch her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "There wasn't a man in that bar that could take his eyes off you." He slides the quiver from her shoulder and tosses it onto his bed. "The women too." Her drink next, plucked from her hand and set on a conveniently placed coaster on Anders' dresser.
"Shut up," she says, in that way women say it when they don't really want you to shut up.
"You moved among them like a nymph through a forest," he says, pitching his voice low as he slides his hands around her back to untie the ridiculous top she's been in all night. "Dispensing hope with every shooter."
He's in already at this point, of course, but there's just a little thrill he gets from letting his Bragi out to play, so he leans closer, putting that extra bit of oomph into his voice. "You were music to their ears, nectar to their eyes, fire to their loins."
The top is dropped to the floor as he closes what distance there is between them. "And now you're here with me."
***
She's on top of him when the earthquake hits, and she's been so into it (as has he) that at first, he doesn't even notice. The bed was already shaking, and she starts to scream, and he just goes with it.
"Oh, yeah!"
Until she climbs off him and flees.
Once the shaking's over, Anders decides, on balance, he should probably go looking for her, so he pads out into his living room, casually peeking behind a painting, just in case she's really good at hiding. When he swings by the fish tank he stops, of course, to check that everyone there is still swimming.
"Hey, buddy."
It isn't until he turns around that he sees her, crouched under his kitchen table.
"Oh," he says. "There you are." His phone, sitting on the kitchen counter, rings, and he moves to answer it. "Hiding under a glass table is not such a good idea," he says to Vodka Girlie.
The phone is Dawn. "Dawn," he lies smoothly, "I was just thinking about you."
Dawn's voice sounds...strident? It always sounds strident. "It's erupting," she says.
"What is?"
"The volcano!"
"No, it's not."
"I felt it!"
Honestly, he would save so much time in his life if he weren't always trying to calm Dawn down. "That was an earthquake, not an eruption. Hey, how's the job going?" She was meant to be supervising the crew painting Fenrir's logo on the mountainside.
"What do you mean, 'How's the job going?' I'm standing on a volcano in an eruption!"
"It's not an eruption," Anders says, yet again.
"How do you know?"
"Because it's an Auckland volcano. Auckland volcanoes never erupt." He looks around for Vodka Girlie. She's still under the table.
"Auckland never has earthquakes!"
"Dawn," he says, solving one problem with the other, "I have to go and care for the traumatized now."
"Well, I'm traumatized too, Anders."
"No, no, no," he says, crawling under the table with VG. "Nonsense. You're doing a great job and make sure it's done by sunrise. Thank you."
He manages to get VG back into her VG costume and sends her on her way. He'll have Dawn send her flowers in the morning.
In the meantime, he could use a shower.
[All dialogue comes from The Almighty Johnsons 1.1.]
So, of course, he took one home. The blonde one. (Or were they both blondes? Did it really matter?)
"You were amazing tonight," he says as he steps closer, reaching up to touch her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "There wasn't a man in that bar that could take his eyes off you." He slides the quiver from her shoulder and tosses it onto his bed. "The women too." Her drink next, plucked from her hand and set on a conveniently placed coaster on Anders' dresser.
"Shut up," she says, in that way women say it when they don't really want you to shut up.
"You moved among them like a nymph through a forest," he says, pitching his voice low as he slides his hands around her back to untie the ridiculous top she's been in all night. "Dispensing hope with every shooter."
He's in already at this point, of course, but there's just a little thrill he gets from letting his Bragi out to play, so he leans closer, putting that extra bit of oomph into his voice. "You were music to their ears, nectar to their eyes, fire to their loins."
The top is dropped to the floor as he closes what distance there is between them. "And now you're here with me."
***
She's on top of him when the earthquake hits, and she's been so into it (as has he) that at first, he doesn't even notice. The bed was already shaking, and she starts to scream, and he just goes with it.
"Oh, yeah!"
Until she climbs off him and flees.
Once the shaking's over, Anders decides, on balance, he should probably go looking for her, so he pads out into his living room, casually peeking behind a painting, just in case she's really good at hiding. When he swings by the fish tank he stops, of course, to check that everyone there is still swimming.
"Hey, buddy."
It isn't until he turns around that he sees her, crouched under his kitchen table.
"Oh," he says. "There you are." His phone, sitting on the kitchen counter, rings, and he moves to answer it. "Hiding under a glass table is not such a good idea," he says to Vodka Girlie.
The phone is Dawn. "Dawn," he lies smoothly, "I was just thinking about you."
Dawn's voice sounds...strident? It always sounds strident. "It's erupting," she says.
"What is?"
"The volcano!"
"No, it's not."
"I felt it!"
Honestly, he would save so much time in his life if he weren't always trying to calm Dawn down. "That was an earthquake, not an eruption. Hey, how's the job going?" She was meant to be supervising the crew painting Fenrir's logo on the mountainside.
"What do you mean, 'How's the job going?' I'm standing on a volcano in an eruption!"
"It's not an eruption," Anders says, yet again.
"How do you know?"
"Because it's an Auckland volcano. Auckland volcanoes never erupt." He looks around for Vodka Girlie. She's still under the table.
"Auckland never has earthquakes!"
"Dawn," he says, solving one problem with the other, "I have to go and care for the traumatized now."
"Well, I'm traumatized too, Anders."
"No, no, no," he says, crawling under the table with VG. "Nonsense. You're doing a great job and make sure it's done by sunrise. Thank you."
He manages to get VG back into her VG costume and sends her on her way. He'll have Dawn send her flowers in the morning.
In the meantime, he could use a shower.
[All dialogue comes from The Almighty Johnsons 1.1.]
